August 2012
67 posts
“Once you start to speak, people will yell at you. They will interrupt you, put...”
– Audre Lorde (via ceedling)
Because it’s always good to be reminded. (via allisonmoon)
July 2012
28 posts
5 tags
The Reminder
Nobody else’s rules are my rules. Remember this. You remember. I’ll remember. Nobody else.
Judge me. I don’t give a fuck. I hold myself to a higher standard than any person or society could dare.
When I forget this, everything turns to shit. I need a reminder. A string around my finger. A collar around my neck.
As punishment, I wandered around the hot streets with a backpack...
4 tags
Blur
I thought you were sober. Your tongue, soft and sloppy in my mouth, gave you away. You were too far gone. I don’t want you that way. Not tonight.
I let you suck on my neck. I let you unbutton my shirt at the bar. I smiled at you and you asked, “What?” but giggled at yourself, knowing. “Fuck me,” you whispered. You were good, your hand on my thigh, sliding down...
Safe
We sat there. I was silent. My words were stuck somewhere, inaccessible. I struggled and looked out the window hoping to see something that would unstick me. Desperately searching the sidewalk for it, whatever it was.
She held her hand to her mouth and let the damp mist of her breath paint her palm. “That is the pace of my life,” she said, “When I can no longer feel my...
5 tags
3 tags
Mythology (She Writes)
Write it down. Put it down. Pin it down. Look at it. Rub it away. Crumple it up. Destroy.
She writes and erases. She writes and reads it over and over. She writes and reads and removes. She burns it into the wood. She carves it deep. She closes her eyes and feels the grooves around the shapes of all the words inside her brain. Trace them.
She’s afraid of them. They have power. Too much...
3 tags
2 tags
150 Words
Slick Wet Fingers Tight Curled Pull Bound Tug Held Sweat Scent Deep Bruise Weight Firm Hidden Traced Teased Lost Buried Dug Firm Grind Grab Gasp Lick Bite Broken Fall Fracture Friction Thirst Open Gaping Ache Buzz Bleed Blister Blind Scorch Drip Burn Ember Glow Swell Slick Sweet Bitter Caustic Chemical Crane Bend Turn Bellow Fly Flee Smash Smother Choke Release Raw Ripe Warm Soft Curved Pushed...
4 tags
Open
I will not look back in anger and taint something that was true.
I will not repaint the past based on a present pain.
I will not judge someone I love.
I will not believe the misinterpretations of me.
I will not struggle with the misinterpretations of me.
I will embrace all parts of the people I love and not try to figure them out.
I will always love who I have loved.
I will stay...
Monster
When I walk down the street, I see right through your skin all the way to the core. I see your heart pump and your arteries shimmer with every rush of blood. I see the sleepwalkers with their slow, clogged hearts. Usually I’m drawn to the drones, wanting to slap them awake. I used to be that sleepwalker. Tonight, I have no use for them.
Tonight, I am a motherfucking monster. Hungry for...
5 tags
4 tags
Marked
She bit down. It was sudden, a surprise. I felt jerked open. A jolt of pain unzipped me down to my cunt. I thought I was going to get off right in that moment. Fuck. She had been kissing my chest. I had just pushed her hair behind her ear to watch her mouth hover over my nipple. Her tongue flicked me. My skin burned. My thighs fell open. I was ready and wanting.
And then, a bite. It sent me into...
2 tags
E[lust] #38
Features my story: The Guide
Photo courtesy of Lucy and Alex of A Couple of Wankers
Welcome to e[lust] - The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at e[lust]. Want to be included in e[lust] #39? Start with the...
Anonymous asked: Hi, I've been reading your stories for a while, and I love them. I have to tell you that your story 'Pieces of Me' was just beautiful. It actually brought me to tears. lol It hit a spot that my FTM boyfriend and I have been and are going through. I just really needed to show how much that story means to me. Thank you for writing it. :) <3
4 tags
Her Comfort
I went out looking for someone big and strong. First I walked. I felt the rough cement through my shoes. I walked a long time. I stared down at my feet and watched the sidewalk slide under them like I was standing in one place and it was the ground that moved.
I knew who I was looking for. I knew her type. Her jeans would be tight to show off her ass. I’d see the outlines of her boots under...
personainprogress asked: just thought I'd drop you a bit more fan mail; me and my girlfriend love your stuff, and since we're long distance at the moment it's helping us get through [and spicing up skype, so thank you ;) ]. I love your writing, it's such a change of pace and allows me to slow down and get into the scene. I keep scrounging the internet for more like you, but you remain my favorite...
Anonymous asked: I find your writing incredibly beautiful. Haunting at times. Sick at times. But always offering a glimpse into our sexual humanity and it's varied colors that we tend to repress and mute. Thank you for reminding me of the possibilities. Anon.
3 tags
Pieces of Me
*this is undiluted and not filtered through an erotic lens - if you’re looking for smut, this isn’t it, but it is queer and it is honest*
I am learning to accept all the pieces of me. All the people I can be. All the different states. Sometimes I am the scared little girl who had to raise herself, her true self, because she couldn’t show that to anyone.
So many of us did this....
4 tags
Pied Piper
Tell me I’m a creep. Because I am one. I am the Pied Piper strolling down the alleyways blowing sweet tunes. Come out, come out wherever you are tonight.
I will draw you out. Follow me. There’s a girl slumped against the bar, her whiskey glass still in her grip, her forehead flat on the wood. Come. There’s a girl in tight jeans sitting in the corner feeling itchy and shy....
3 tags
Indulge Me
I write queer smut, mostly. And then, sometimes, I write weird shit. Lately, there are some strange posts. I have to do it. Indulge me every now and again.
If you’re looking for something more traditional, there’s more on the way or dig back through the archives. Here’s a nice one: http://bdswain.com/post/24233753054/her-name
—
BD
3 tags
Vestigial
When I dream of her something’s always missing. A finger or a toe. Sometimes there’s a limp and I know a piece of her is not there even if I can’t see it. I can’t dream of her whole, complete.
Last night half her arm was missing from the elbow down. She could only wrap one arm around me, the other would press into my side but nothing curved around my back. One hand rubbed...
unicornsolidarity asked: just read your writing for the first time... am blown away (read: turned on). looking forward to going through your archives... xo
3 tags
Ugly
I like it when we’re ugly girls. Beautiful ugly. Punk girl ugly doesn’t give a shit. Shake up my bottle of beer, tilt my head back, open my mouth, and let it spew all over my face and shirt. Squeeze up against me and open your mouth for a taste.
The electric shock of raw power. Don’t be afraid to touch it. Hold tight and let it flow right through you. Yell and growl and...
4 tags
Exposed
I am in an ancient surgery Belly split open Guts on display
Or is it a public torture? On a slab in the square Entrails slowly twisted out of my body
I am being drawn, as water is drawn into a pitcher
Come and watch See my smile and be comforted This is our lesson
4 tags
Taking Her
It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes I just take. I want her. I can have her. I take her.
Fuck the goddamn politics of it all. Everything and nothing is absolved. There is no wrong. There is no right. There’s only driving fast on the highway at night and realizing your headlights aren’t on. Roll down the windows and let the car rattle. The wind makes your eyes squint. Bare...
4 tags
6 tags
Sticky
Heavy, ripe plums covered the tree in our garden. The branches drooped lower and lower as the hot days continued. It was Sunday afternoon and she’d been trying to figure out how to gather these plums since Saturday morning. The ripe plums were too high for either of us to reach even with a rake. She dragged a chair out to stand on, but it wasn’t working.
I watched her size up her...